Saving Relationships and Marriages: One Breastfeeding Baby at a Time

Breastfeeding can be a challenge, most people know that, but when you think about breastfeeding, you usually think about the mother and baby, not the mother and significant other.  For some women breastfeeding comes naturally and is easy, for most it does not.  From latching to producing, positioning to clogged ducts, breastfeeding can definitely come with a lot of challenges.  This is where Yevgeniya Peskova at TOTville in Manalapan steps in.  Between her formal education, nursing 2 children of her own, and helping countless families, there isn't much that she hasn't seen and can't help with.  Yevgeniya works with parents to make breastfeeding easier and more successful.

New babies are wonderful, but bring a lot of unknowns.  Keeping your baby fed, healthy, and comfortable are at the top of the list of a parent's concerns.  There is often controversy over whether to breastfeed or not, how, and when.  Hospitals are often quick to push supplementing, without proper education and breastfeeding support.  Some significant others don't understand why a mother wants to breastfeed, the benefits of it, or how to handle the challenges.  

Benefits of breastfeeding for babies:

• Stronger immune systems

• Less digestive problems and complications

• Fewer colds and respiratory illnesses

• Fewer ear infections

• Fewer case of bacterial meningitis

• Better vision

• Lower rates of infant mortality

• Lower rates of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) 

• Less illness overall and less hospitalization

Benefits of breastfeeding for mom:

• Promotes faster weight loss after birth, burning about 500 extra calories a day to build and maintain a milk supply.

• Stimulates the uterus to contract and return to normal size

• Less postpartum bleeding

• Fewer urinary tract infections

• Less chance of anemia

• Lower risk of breast and ovarian cancers

• Lower risk of rheumatoid arthritis and lupus

• Less endometriosis

• Less osteoporosis with age

• Less diabetes

• Less hypertension decreases blood pressure

• Less cardiovascular disease

• Increased confidence, calmness and self-esteem

• Physical/emotional bonding between mother and child is increased. Breastfeeding promotes more skin-to-skin contact, more holding and stroking. Many feel that affectionate bonding during the first years of life helps reduce social and behavioral problems in both children and adults.

After childbirth mothers experience a wide range of emotions.  Unfortunately, anger and resentment can develop towards their partner based on how they are treated, sometimes using breastfeeding as an excuse not to help or be involved with their child.  Partners can also carry anger and frustration, feeling lonely and wanting more intimacy.  They may feel pushed out; not just because breasts erotic role has been replaced by a nurturing one, but also because dads cannot participate in exclusive breast-feeding.  If both parents want to be involved in raising the children, it is the responsibility of the parents, individually and as a couple, to share roles and tasks.  Blaming breastfeeding by constantly making the mother feel guilty for continuing to breastfeed and trying to force breastfeeding to end before both mother and child are ready can easily lead to resentment.  

Proper education about the benefits of breastfeeding and supporting a healthy breastfeeding relationship can make all the difference in having success in all aspects.  When speaking with a breastfeeding mother who has and is still working with Yevgeniya she said, "We can't thank Yevgeniya enough for her support and guidance, especially since our son was born at the start of the COVID pandemic.  Nobody was able to do in-person visits and the hospital where we delivered offered minimal support.  When our son was first born we needed help with his latch and learning to meet his feeding needs, she was able to do virtual visits and get him successfully eating.  Yevgeniya then diagnosed his lip, tongue, and cheek ties, recommended a wonderful doctor for his revision, and helped us through the healing process.  Then, at 9 months I got my first clogged duct and she texted with me late at night, guiding me on how to resolve my painful problem.  Yevgeniya worked with both my husband and I on all of the issues we faced.  Where there was fear and unknown she brought knowledge and experience, educating us and helping us work together.  We faced a lot of challenges, worrying about our baby and how to navigate though it all, it easily could've led to big fights and giving up.  We are now 11 months into our breastfeeding journey and I can honestly say I don't know where we would be without her."  We also spoke with her husband who was so appreciative and didn't even realize how many issues they had faced.  He said, "Working with Yevgeniya made things so easy and she was able to help my wife in ways I couldn't.  Looking back, things would be so different without her help."