The day we were to travel for the holidays, I woke at 4 or 5 so I could take a shower before we had to leave. We woke so early that we actually had to wake the baby before she could wake us up with her usual 6 a.m. squawk.

We had decided to fly, because the idea of driving (for 10 – 12 hours) with a baby made me break out in hives.

We were supposed to leave the house at 6 a.m. At 6:10 a.m., I asked DH if he had the birth certificate we needed for the airline.

Nope. He had made copies, but he didn’t know where the copies were located. I continued nursing the baby while he ran around looking for them.

At 6:20 a.m. we finally leave the house.

Our flight was to leave at 8:15 a.m.

We decided to leave without the birth certificate and get going. Of course, the highway was clogged.

“This doesn’t look good,” says DH.

“No, it doesn’t.”

We continue to crawl at 5 mph on the highway. We get past the traffic jam and start moving at a real speed. Time ticks on.

At the airport, we have to park the car in Outer Mongolia and take a bus into the airport. We do this while carrying a car seat, a baby, three suitcases and two diaper bags.

At one point, my husband exclaimed at me carrying the baby on the front, my diaper bag on my back and wheeling a suitcase in each hand. I felt like I’d conquered the world.

Until we got in line and were immediately told there’s no way we’d make our flight.

Why?

Because of the looooong line to check in. Because we were late. When you have a lap baby, there is often no easy way to check in. Because I had to go through the special security line that blows air on your body to check for bomb dust. My 16-month-old does not know how to make bombs, but she had to have air blown on her, too.

(Note: Coming back from an unnamed airport in a smaller city, I was shocked that I NEVER had to provide photo ID.)

After we had definitely missed our flight, I felt so much less stressed! Wow, what a difference! While people ran past us to get to their flights, we could amble along knowing that we had already messed up and missed ours.

What a relief.

We ambled around. We let the baby walk to the security gate on her own with no worries of being on time.

We elected to try for standby. We were 2 and 3 on the list.

After 3 hours of waiting, we had sunk to 9-10 on the list. Those darned special United frequent flyer whatever people had gotten ahead of us.

We decided to rent a car and drive.

Our luggage had already gone ahead to Detroit, MI.

At one point, our car was in Virginia, we were on a highway in Pennsylvania, and our luggage was in Michigan.

After we got the rental car, I took my somwhat sheepish husband to out favorite Japanese sushi place. I knew that getting loaded up on sushi would make everything okay. Plus, there’s a fantastic toy store. I knew we would need toys — lots of them — to make it 10 hours in the car with the baboo.

I tore through the store throwing coloring books, crayons, soft books and bascially any toy that won’t hurt if thrown at my head into the cart. More than $100 later, we were set.

Ah, the holidays!

One odd guest of theirs placed an eye pack over his eyes to nap in the middle of the day in their living room and crossed his arms crossed over his chest like a vampire, would only eat foods according the Blood Type Diet, and did extensive breathing exercises.

After that, it seemed like a good time to tell them I had to pump breast milk.

On Friday, I went to the Brooklyn Museum to catch the Ron Mueck and Annie Leibovitz exhibits. Google Ron Mueck if you don’t know him.

When I got back to our town, hubby and baby were there to meet me. Baby was up way past her bedtime, so that she could be brought in the car to the train station. She appeared stunned.

When we returned to the house, I nursed the baby. She conked back out. We all got to sleep.

I woke to the sound of a jet engine crashing into the house. Immediately, I turned to wake hubby and let him know about the jet engine.

He was not there.

Then, I heard the jet engine again. My husband vomited violently into the toilet. I’m half out of my mind due to grogginess and worry and — darnit — admiration at the force of his vomit. When I vomit, it’s all gentle and dainty. But his vomit was, like, manly.

The baby woke up due to the aforementioned noise. I got her back to sleep and brought husband some water. Then, I lay in bed awake until the baby woke up for the day and wondered if husband washed his teeth since those acids are bad for them.

Needless to say, we were both wrecks the whole next day. Of course, O didn’t nap that day either. She went to sleep, woke herself up by pooping, and then was cranky from lack of sleep and, probably, lack of exercise due to two brain-dead parents. My main goal this past Saturday was surviving long enough to make it to baby’s bed time, so that I could go to sleep myself.

This will be my first trip away from the little one. My chest has gone tight at times. I’ve imagined every horrible scenario.

She’ll be in great hands — her daddy — and I’m probably going to miss her more than she misses me. Then why do I feel slightly worried?

—-

I read an excellent post on the Cynnical Dad blog. Since I won’t be here for the next two days, I’ll share this post with you so you have some good reading material. I won’t leave you high and dry!

Doing a lot is how I am, so I don’t often think about the process in detail. A few of the most time-consuming projects I have are day work, art work, running a nonprofit on the side, mothering, wife-ing, keeping up social relationships, and working on other projects.

Since I can always learn to do something better, I’m reading Dan Kenndy’s No B.S. Time Management for Entrepreneurs, which helps you get more time out of your day by helping you see where time is wasted.

Substitute the word “mother” for entrepreneur. The principles hold true.

I thought about how mothers might benefit from such a book. Kennedy talks about turning off the phone, running errands and commuting to work at off-peak times, limiting email, and limiting meetings. He writes that you lose 5 minutes here and 10 minutes there and pretty soon you are talking hours (based on that old saying “a billion here and a billion there and pretty soon you’re talking real money). How true.

Recently, I read of a well-known author who said that email was his big procrastination tool to getting more writing done. (I have to admit email is one of the time suckers in my life.) The other day, I listened to a educational CD in my car. That filled my 20-minute commute perfectly.

Since I work from home a few days a week, I save myself several hours (and gas). If I add up the time I save over a year it is 67 HOURS. That is 67 HOURS that I am NOT spending in my car idling in traffic and waiting for stoplights. With my work arrangement, I now have more time to do something useful.
I plan out what I am going to do with my time, so I don’t meander like I can sometimes do. I plan meals ahead a lot of the time and use a slow cooker so food is ready when we get home. I keep lists. If I have a list, I am MUCH more motivated to complete what I need to do. I keep easy-to-lose items like keys in the proper place so I know where to find them (instead of wasting 5-20 minutes searching like I did before).

Everyone finds their own way of making more time; I learned to say ‘no’ to a lot. One suggestion in the book is to link all of your tasks to your overall life goals. Then, you can ask yourself if you are making the best use of your time in this moment. Sure, we’ll goof off and play video games, chit chat with people, and drink lemonade on the porch. However, we also want to make time for what is really important to us and to what we want to accomplish.

It’s a good book if you want to check it out.

Tags: Time+Management Mothering Motherhood Parenting Mommy Blog Mommy Blogging Baby Toddler

The way it was written took me off on my own tangent. I remembered yesterday afternoon and how the Nugget, having missed part of a nap, came home and fell asleep in my arms. My cell phone rang in the other room. I could have put her down, I supposed, and answered it or called the person back. Instead, I continued to sit in the chair with her.

The land line rang, and I knew it was DH calling to say when he’d be home. I didn’t want to risk waking her by putting her down in the crib. I kept holding her. I studied her face and noticed how much it looked like the 3-D ultrasound photograph, which was the first time I saw what she might look like. I am still stunned at how well that technology captured her features.

Briefly, I regretted not having a book. However, I was practicing.

I was practicing being in the moment and not rushing to wipe up a dust bunny, empty the diaper pail, get the next snack or meal ready.

I just sat there. I enjoyed Nugget’s warmth, her trust in me, her weight against my lap, and watching her still and peaceful face.
As I sat there, I realized that this moment, this one moment I was allowing myself to enjoy in its entirety, had made my entire week.

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If you’ve ever been around a nursing baby, you know that you have two choices when they are hungry. You can nurse them and have a happy and calm baby. Or you can refuse them and have a screaming baby. Which would you prefer on your flight?

You can read about Delta airlines and breastfeeding in this article.

Below is a part of a statement from Moms Rising along with a link to a petition.

SIGN THE PETITION TO DELTA AIRLINES AND CONGRESS: Tell Delta Airlines to get a clue and be supportive of breastfeeding mothers. And tell Congress it’s time to pass the Breastfeeding Promotion Act, which amends the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to protect breastfeeding mothers. Clearly this law is needed now!

Technorati Tags: Delta Airlines Breastfeeding Nursing in Public Mommy Blog Parenting

Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady’s Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Go to Sleep , Stay Asleep, And Wake Up Happy: This book, in conjunction with No-Cry Sleep Solution (see below for review), solved our sleepless nights. I knew that I’d not be able to let my baby cry alone, so I was intrigued when I learned of a sleep system that would not involve crying! We used her techniques. Although we had some sleepless nights at the start of this program, our baby now sleeps 12 hours! She wakes up happy and energetic and there’s no more fussing or whining at night because she’s exhausted. One of my friends told me that (after doing this program) her daughter was a whole new child, because she was finally getting the sleep she needed.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night: Again and again, I hear from desperate parents who can’t get their children to sleep through the night. Author Elizabeth Pantley offers a gentle way to help your child sleep longer. The most useful part was selecting and establishing a routine. Once we choose a routine and stuck to it, our daughter transformed into knowing that night is for sleeping. We’ve been using these techniques for several months and sometimes the baby is snoring even before we can put her in bed. One possible drawback is how well the “Pantley Pull Off” technique works. Often, mothers nurse their baby to sleep. Pantley suggests that when a baby goes to sleep nursing, they will want to nurse during their brief awakenings at night. If they can’t nurse because they mother isn’t there, they will then wake up. Pantley suggests allowing the baby to get right to the edge of sleep and then remove the breast so that the baby sleeps on her own. I’ve heard rave (and a few mediocre) reviews of Pantley Pull Off, which is just one small part of her otherwise great (and proven) sleep program.

The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer The author shares his technique of using 5 special techniques to soothe and calm your baby to sleep. When our baby cried and we couldn’t figure out what to do (her diaper was dry, she’d just eaten) we’d turn to these gentle and soothing techniques, and they worked like a charm! These techniques restored calm to our baby — and to us!

You can also read about how I got my baby to sleep through the night.

Tags: Sleeping Through the Night Mothering Toddlers Motherhood Parenting Mommy Blog Mommy Blogging Baby Toddler

Have I mentioned that I’m terrified of bugs. We used to have ants in my house as a child, and I’d have nightmares. In one respect, I find them completely fascinating. Ants, especially, are intriguing in how hard they work and how far they travel for food. But, if I see one unexpectedly, the shrieks will be heard for miles.

I am hoping that the Nugget does not ‘catch’ my fear. I’m not sure if I should try and hide it so she can make her own assessments or not. I don’t think it would be wrong to hide how I feel about it since these creatures are not harmful.

And then…

My neighbor shocked me…

I took the Nugget outside to play. She has one of those Little Tykes cars with the yellow roof and orange body, and she’s nuts about it. First, I pushed her all around and then SHE wanted to push it all around. It has a busted left front tire, becauase we got it used, so it sticks sometimes and then I feel a little bad.

My neighbor waved to Nugget and then we said hello to each other. I overheard him ask one of our city employees if today was leaf day.

Of course, it was.

Had we raked any leaves up? No.

I raked as fast as I could while keeping one eye on the roving toddler. At one point, I turned my back for one very small second and found her climbing the cement stairs. And then I was surprised to see how good she was at getting up them without knocking herself in the head or otherwise damaging herself or letting out howls of outrage.

The leaf machine truck entered the street, and I still had half the yard to do. At the same time, Nugget decided that the truck was loud and scary and she had to hug my legs. I picked her up and kept raking with one arm, which is NOT easy to do.

As an experiment to see if I could stop holding her and get the raking done faster, I put her down and told her all about the truck in a happy voice.

Behind me, a voice asked, “Do you want some help?”

My neighbor had walked over with his rake, and he started raking my leaves with me.

I was stunned at the kindness. Maybe I’m a cynnical city girl, but I’ve never lived in a neighborhood (since I was little) where the people were this nice.

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Since I don’t watch television, I’d never heard of Elizabeth Vargas until I read an article about how she had a baby and had to switch jobs so she could have more time with her child. Having to switch jobs tuned Ms. Vargas into what other mothers endure and the trade-offs they make when they work outside the home and mother.

TUNE IN TOMORROW NIGHT: Tune into the ABC 20/20 show with Elizabeth Vargas tomorrow night, Friday, November 10th at 10:00pm. Elizabeth Vargas is just coming back from maternity leave and her first show is aptly going to be about motherhood and work, and features an interview with Joan Blades, co-founder of MomsRising.

Joyce Brothers on Mommy Blogging

On Bloggers Blog, the subject of ‘mommy blogging’ came up, because someone wrote to Dr. Joyce Brothers about a relative blogging so much about her new baby.

I have heard that blogging about babies is a popular pastime now, and I can see the positive benefits that might come from keeping a record of the baby’s growth and development. We used to have scrapbooks for such things, but now the Internet serves as a repository for these records, along with all sorts of thoughts and debates that motherhood brings. For moms, it can be a respite from the isolation some suffer after leaving the workplace. Replies to their blogs can help them feel that they are sharing the “new mom” experience, or quell their worries that their child is the only one with a behavior problem or developmental delay.

Blogging while the baby sleeps seems OK. On the other hand, blogging has a potential for abuse, especially if it becomes a substitute for interacting with the child, or a place to lodge daily complaints against the father, or serves mainly to satisfy exhibitionistic urges. I can’t judge your brother’s specific case, but in general, diaries and journals have been replaced by the Internet, and your sister-in-law has jumped on the bandwagon, hopefully with taste and moderation.

Just like email has replaced letters, blogs have started to replace scrapbooks. I do better writing for an audience, and think that the posts I’ve written about the Nugget (on another blog) are better than what I’ve written in the journal we’re making for her.

Mothering Motherhood Parenting Mommy Blog Mommy Blogging Baby Toddler Moms Rising Elizabeth Vargas Joyce Brothers Motherhood and Working