Totville: Toddler Activities

This is a question that keeps coming up from friends around me. Although I am not a tantrum expert, I can speak from parental experience.
Some tantrums are due to the fact (I think, anyway) that Nugget can’t communicate what she wants. In some cases (like not wearing a bib or sitting in the high chair), I will let her do what she prefers. She is neat enough not to need a bib, and I ask myself does it matter that she does not want to sit in the high chair (not really). If I assess something
does not matter, then I do not try to get my way.

In Unconditional Parenting, Alfie Kohn asked the question: “Why should our children do what we want them to do?”

Now, of course, safety issues come to mind when I read the above. Nugget is going to stay out of the street and be carried through parking lots (for now at least). She is going to wear a seatbelt, and she is going to follow the rules mommy and daddy follow (do not walk on the flowers). But, if it’s not a social or safety rule, I ask myself if I have to have my way or whether we can do it the way Nugget wants.

By doing the above, I learned Nugget can sit at the big table by herself. (How did she become such a big girl?) She will sit in the big chair at the big table and be happy as a clam.

I also discovered that she can use a fork without stabbing herself.

Parenthood: it’s a journey.

Sometimes she’ll still sit in her high chair. That’s fine, too. Sometimes we serve her at her little table, which is now in the living room (since we still are waiting for our furniture to arrive from Norway!) and sometimes she’ll eat on the run (while walking around the house).

In the past month, she started to want to walk around while eating. Instead of trying to have it our way, we are blending desires. The adults want to eat out, and the toddlers wants to move. Today, we all went out to eat Japanese. We ‘blended desires’ by sitting on the tatami mats, so Nugget had more room to move around. It worked really well!

Some tantrums ARE due to manipulation according to Dr. Sears. When we think she is having a ‘fake’ tantrum, we tend to say something like “I’m sorry you are frustrated about XYX” or ask her to use words and then let it go. We don’t give her overly huge amounts of attention when she has them.

I also think that at least one tantrum was from low blood sugar after she woke from nap. DH and I get cranky when we have low blood sugar, so I make an effort to offer lots of snacks through the day and do my best to make sure she eats something before napping.

Below are some links that you might find useful:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T063300.asp

And another way of seeing and handling tantrums…

http://www.babycenter.com/expert/toddler/toddlerbehavior/11622.html

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